that's all i got.

Ugh. My heart is heavy hearing the news of the latest attack. France, this time, and sadly in a few months it will be old news. Sigh.

I’m not being poetic when I say my heart is heavy. It feels like a rock, hanging by a rope, dropped six inches lower than the spot it’s supposed to sit.

All the thoughts:

Whats the world coming to?

Is it just gonna keep getting worse?

Should we stay inside our homes forever so we don’t have to die?

What’s the right response? Should I have a moment of silence and pray for the victim’s families? Am I supposed to feel all the feelings they must be going through right now? Does that just add more pain and sadness into the collective pile of human emotions?

I dunno. 

I don’t come to sum it up with a fancy Pinterest quote to make it all better. 

I think the same thing everytime another one of these tragedies take place: darkness grows, and light grows. I think that’s what happens. The unspeakable hate, all the evil that causes humans to want to hurt other humans, it’s clearly growing.

I don’t know how to stop it. I try to think of a fancy strategy to perhaps email the government that will take down the bad guys, but I haven’t come up with anything convincing.

Here’s all I got: I have to instead add to the light. Tip the scales, grow the light. Keep being brave and smiling at strangers and loving and creating and shining. That’s literally the only thing I can think to do to help. 

Darkness grows, and we add to the light. More horror stories happen. We keep being bright. It’s not okay, not at all. Still, we stay at it. Shining away. I have hope that this somehow fights the darkness, and contributes to the universal equilibrium. 

That’s all I got.

Good night.

Love, me