How much time do you spend picking yourself a part? How many times a day do you think about about how unattractive or unlovable you are? These thoughts are tormenting. Let’s try to make them stop.
The thoughts come from all the messages we keep receiving about beauty, the thousands of times a day we are reminded of what Perfection looks like, and told yet again that we don’t look like that. We don’t make the cut. We get it. We aren’t beautiful enough-got it.
But, what if there was another way of looking at beauty? Another version of beauty? One that is inclusive, holistic, fascinating. One that makes the beholder feel something instead of another vanilla image of traditional beauty.
Here’s the thing: you and I probably won’t ever measure up to traditional beauty.
And let me tell you, that is completely, 100% irrelevant to us. The traditional beauty standard has nothing to do with who we are, with where we’re going, with doing great things in our lifetimes.
There is a modern, abstract wonderful version of beauty, one that includes fascinating facial features, interesting body shapes, a big bright smile, kind eyes, and a bright spirit. That’s relevant. That matters. And that’s what I’m interested in.
You and I, we have big things to do in this world. We have incredible things to be and accomplish in our lifetimes. I do not have the time or mental energy to hyper obsess over how I’m not Pretty Enough, how I’m not fitting into society’s narrow, crazy definition of beauty.
—>So, what do you do about a body that you hate? Are you just supposed to accept it?
Sometimes. Sometimes, you can do something about it, and sometimes you can’t. If you do decide to move forward with changing something you don’t love, be aware of the energy you’re bringing towards it. Are you beating yourself into submission, tormenting yourself for not losing weight faster? Are you using self-punishment to keep yourself in line? These things will not lead to the happy, confident version of yourself that you’re hoping they will. This is why you have to be working on your inner issues while you’re changing on the outside, and approach your desired change with self love, care, and compassion.
Self-Compassion is so incredibly important here. When I find myself in front of the mirror, picking myself apart, I pause and think about a woman in my life that I really care about. I imagine her fluttering through life, just being brilliant and awesome, shining brightly and influencing the world. It would break my heart to picture her standing in front of the mirror, hyper-obsessing over her flaws and critiquing herself-she has so many bigger dragons to slay and hearts to inspire! Once I can feel that compassion for her, I turn that feeling inward, and allow myself to feel compassion for myself. I’ve got big things to do in this lifetime; I’m not gonna spend it worrying about the bags under my eyes.
I’ve got a lot more amazing things to do than pick myself apart. Will you join me?
Much love, Ariel
PS-Congrats to Adam Rogers for winning the Zipper wrist cuff giveaway!