That work ethic is super impressive and soul killing!

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I tried to google the impact of a beautiful environment on creativity and I just found a bunch of shiny save the planet doctrine. Which is great, but not what I’m looking for. I am looking for someone to tell me I’m not crazy for the fact that I can’t really work in dark and ugly basements. I want someone to give me permission to structure my sewing room in a way that values beauty over productivity levels. I think I want creatively stimulating surroundings more than practical ones. Is this ok? Please?

I’ve spent so much emotional energy trying to rewire myself to be results driven, and disregard my personal opinions along the way. “You want more? I’ve got more. You think having a girl on this tour will slow you down? Watch my work ethic put yours to shame. I hustle. I stay up late. I’ve got this.”

Well F that. We’ve been off tour for two months and all I want to do is make salted carmel bars and organize my jewelry. I put pictures up on the wall that I’ve been saving for the *real* house (this is a rental). I took every lamp and plant I owned and put it in my Custom Catastrophes workshop to make it feel more like a fashion boutique and less like a factory. I spent all day Sunday playing with beautiful fabrics I’d forgotten I had, and I died my hair back to it’s blazing fuchsia glory (it was starting to look just plain old pink). And I keep thinking about this brilliant thing I read in a book:

“I don’t do anything that makes me miserable in order to fulfill a vision.”

Immediately the work ethic that’s served me for years screams “Well then how does anything get done?! These songs don’t write themselves! These infinity scarves don’t sew themselves!” And then all that kicking and screaming is replaced with a sigh. Of relief. Breath. 

No more holding your breath and plowing through. (Yep, that gets things done. Yep, you will impress people with your killer drive and focus. Good for you.) It is not worth it. The world doesn’t need a worn out work-horse version of you. You will be of so much more service to the world by being brilliant...free....creative...and radiant YOU than the machine version of you that can get a lot of impressive stuff done. 

 

Good night,

Ariel